“I was racked with pain and anxiety, constantly thinking that I was useless and worthless, and that no one needed me.” Jaswinder Gardner, a woman who had lost all hope often felt like this after experiencing failure, and rejection from everyone, including her family.
Jaswinder grew up watching her parents struggle financially, and fight constantly. This took a toll on her mental health, and having a strained relationship with her mother only made matters worse. Jaswinder never received the approval and love she needed and craved for from her mother, which led to her having low self-esteem. Though her mother made sure that Jaswinder graduated, becoming an actress – her dream career – was never a viable option. To pursue her second dream, of becoming a designer, Jaswinder went to live with her uncle in Mumbai. To her surprise, she faced a lot of negativity because of the conservative thinking of her family who believed careers were reserved for men, and women were to be confined to the house. Despite the taunts, she managed to kick off her career as a model, and eventually left her uncle’s house.
While working hard to grow as a model, Jaswinder had a relationship with a man who turned out to be yet another person who was adamant to bring her down. She was forced to leave her modelling career, and was made to feel small and worthless. After being pulled down so many times by so many people, Jaswinder lost hope and began having suicidal thoughts.
A friend of Jaswinder’s took her to a church service to try to help her. On the very first day, Jaswinder’s world changed as she heard the words in Isaiah 49:15: “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! Coming from a family where her own parents couldn’t give her the love and security she needed, Jaswinder felt she finally had found what she had been looking for all her life. “God saw my need and fulfilled it, and it was as if He hugged me!” Jaswinder said, her eyes filled with tears as she relived this transforming experience.
As Jaswinder grew in her faith, she was blessed immensely. She married a man who loved and supported her. Opportunities of acting in TV commercials and TV serials came her way one after the other and she finally got to live her dream that she had lost all hope for.
